LJ Idol Week 8: Bycatch
"Every Angel is terrifying" Rilke
"Bury me an angel God, I need some inspiration." White Zombie- Supercharger Heaven
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As Hezekiel began to materializ.....
(OSCAR OTTER hits FAUSTS_DREAM in the back of the head with a steel chair)
(LJIDOLVILLAIN shouts into a microphone "That man has a family!")
(M_MALCONTENT in a referee's stripes kneels next to FAUSTS_DREAM and administers a three count)
Hello Hoomans, it's me...Oscar Otter, daddy's otter stuffie. (Although I currently have been reincarnated into a seal body, more about that later.)
Sorry about the violent way I got daddy out of the way, but he is in recovery, it's not like I could drug him. Maybe I should put a content warning, since he is apparently into those these days.
O.k CW: Stuffed Otter on Human Violence, happy now?!?
So when, I first met Daddy, I was living on a shelf with some other otter stuffies at Moody Gardens in Galveston, it was degrading prostituting my boyish good looks to humans, preening in hopes of being taken home. Yeah, you guys are all writers, you know what that feels like. Anyway, I always knew I was destined for something more.
Daddy bought me as a gift for his then fiancée, Lorie. Daddy would get angry with me if I said anything bad about Lorie, but she did occasionally imprison me in THE DARK PLACE(TM) THE DARK PLACE is an area under the bed where it is well, dark. And stuffies are vulnerable to shark attacks (approximately 11 Zillion Stuffies disappear every year who are thought lost to shark attack after being exiled to dark places)
[EDITORS NOTE]- Oscar is an emotional support otter and has roughly human level intelligence, but struggles with numbers and math
[OSCARS NOTE] Daddy struggles to eat a bag of dicks, despite loving the pungent but manly flavor of penis, because it gives him heartburn.
In any event, I loved daddy, Lorie and my sibling Poderick J. Sloth. Poderick was the Yin to my Yang, the Peanut Butter to my Jelly, the...well you get the idea. As an emotional support Stuffie, Poddy would frequently hug Lorie with his long slothlike arms and I would hug daddy with my tiny arms.
The marriage lasted 3 years, and an otter did the best he could, but daddy was sauced more than the General Tso's chicken at the 10-dollar Chinese buffet, it appalled an otter. Finally, I and his PS4 were the only non-clothing belongings he took with him when he left the apartment he and Lorie lived in for my beloved Gamma's house. I would like to say he loved me more than the PS4, but an otter is unsure.
When he moved in with his mom, he actually had a bit of a renaissance. He was hanging around some with his sole remaining drinking buddy, Laura. And they sometimes sniffed the bad powdery stuff...daddy still has powder under his nose, but these days it's from eating Hostess Powdered Donuts too fast, daddy is kind of a slob.
But he found a teaching job, and Laura actually found a boyfriend, so yay daddy.(For posterity's sake Laura is clean, sober and still the most thrilling intellect I can think of, turns out what I thought made her fun was holding her back). Daddy needs to stay away from "L" women, (if Laura Linney comes sniffing around, she is getting the steel chair.) And for a while it looked like all was improving. An Otter wishes it worked out that way. His mother's health declined, she had beaten cancer, many strokes and heart issues, but they put a pacemaker in for the latter, and Gamma lived for a couple more years, but never REALLY came out from the anesthesia all the way, daddy's nurse friend said that happens sometimes. My original body was lost as I accompanied her as she spent a month in a rehab trying to get her to eat on her own. She "lost" me (In reality, when I couldn't help Gamma or Daddy anymore, I answered the call to help another old lady who needed a friend, but Daddy doesn't know that).
Daddy, kept drinking, at his uncle's house, in his apartment, behind dumpsters and he was doing pretty well in a rehab until he wasn't. He even took a shift in Nederland Texas to become their town drunk, where he lived with a nice sober woman and his only real competition, her boyfriend. Can a human say shitshow? Sure, you can. An otter believes in you.
Anyway, Daddy entered a crazy house in July of last year and found that he had somehow signed up for insurance that let him have 28 days in a cushy insurance rehab. (Really an otter made some calls). When he got out, he went to this sober living place and was again worthy to have the OscarForce (TM) inhabit a new body. He went to Wal Mart, because all the best Emotional Support Stuffies are made in Chinese sweatshops, something about the children's tears gives us the necessary traction to come to life.
Being daddy, he selected a seal body, because, and an otter wouldn't shit you, "he thought it would be disappointed not to be chosen".
Daddy is kind of stupid, but this was a moment of inspiration, I love my seal body, it is perfect body. It gives me "happy tail". So does Daddy these days he makes an otter proud, even if he knocks my parrot girlfriend Sophira off the bed, and he makes me watch too much Sportsball, I hate Sportsball....Daddy needs to play some Jobsball if you ask an otter, but daddy never does.
Oh, look he is coming to. Just in time to be voted off for a "gimmick entry" on a week when he still has a bye and it's the last day and only 1.2 people have submitted an entry, like an otter says, he isn't the brightest crayon in the box.
"Don't worry daddy, your entry is taken care of!"
O.K. guys, hurry up and vote him off...more time for snuggling with the lovely Sophira, Gary the worlds judgiest Capybara and Harriet the Homicidal Hedgehog.
If he survives, he will probably do this Angel and Demon thing.... wonder what will happen to the Author Ava...er...an otter means Hezekiel.
Or more recovery blah, blah, blah...Spoiler alert, daddy lives, but his personality doesn't improve.
If you comment on this entry and want to talk to me, be sure to open with "Hi, Oscar" otherwise daddy and his massive ego will assume you want to talk to him.
Murielle tell Wilbear to call an otter, I am fun to party with.
"Bury me an angel God, I need some inspiration." White Zombie- Supercharger Heaven
******************************************************************************************
As Hezekiel began to materializ.....
(OSCAR OTTER hits FAUSTS_DREAM in the back of the head with a steel chair)
(LJIDOLVILLAIN shouts into a microphone "That man has a family!")
(M_MALCONTENT in a referee's stripes kneels next to FAUSTS_DREAM and administers a three count)
Hello Hoomans, it's me...Oscar Otter, daddy's otter stuffie. (Although I currently have been reincarnated into a seal body, more about that later.)
Sorry about the violent way I got daddy out of the way, but he is in recovery, it's not like I could drug him. Maybe I should put a content warning, since he is apparently into those these days.
O.k CW: Stuffed Otter on Human Violence, happy now?!?
So when, I first met Daddy, I was living on a shelf with some other otter stuffies at Moody Gardens in Galveston, it was degrading prostituting my boyish good looks to humans, preening in hopes of being taken home. Yeah, you guys are all writers, you know what that feels like. Anyway, I always knew I was destined for something more.
Daddy bought me as a gift for his then fiancée, Lorie. Daddy would get angry with me if I said anything bad about Lorie, but she did occasionally imprison me in THE DARK PLACE(TM) THE DARK PLACE is an area under the bed where it is well, dark. And stuffies are vulnerable to shark attacks (approximately 11 Zillion Stuffies disappear every year who are thought lost to shark attack after being exiled to dark places)
[EDITORS NOTE]- Oscar is an emotional support otter and has roughly human level intelligence, but struggles with numbers and math
[OSCARS NOTE] Daddy struggles to eat a bag of dicks, despite loving the pungent but manly flavor of penis, because it gives him heartburn.
In any event, I loved daddy, Lorie and my sibling Poderick J. Sloth. Poderick was the Yin to my Yang, the Peanut Butter to my Jelly, the...well you get the idea. As an emotional support Stuffie, Poddy would frequently hug Lorie with his long slothlike arms and I would hug daddy with my tiny arms.
The marriage lasted 3 years, and an otter did the best he could, but daddy was sauced more than the General Tso's chicken at the 10-dollar Chinese buffet, it appalled an otter. Finally, I and his PS4 were the only non-clothing belongings he took with him when he left the apartment he and Lorie lived in for my beloved Gamma's house. I would like to say he loved me more than the PS4, but an otter is unsure.
When he moved in with his mom, he actually had a bit of a renaissance. He was hanging around some with his sole remaining drinking buddy, Laura. And they sometimes sniffed the bad powdery stuff...daddy still has powder under his nose, but these days it's from eating Hostess Powdered Donuts too fast, daddy is kind of a slob.
But he found a teaching job, and Laura actually found a boyfriend, so yay daddy.(For posterity's sake Laura is clean, sober and still the most thrilling intellect I can think of, turns out what I thought made her fun was holding her back). Daddy needs to stay away from "L" women, (if Laura Linney comes sniffing around, she is getting the steel chair.) And for a while it looked like all was improving. An Otter wishes it worked out that way. His mother's health declined, she had beaten cancer, many strokes and heart issues, but they put a pacemaker in for the latter, and Gamma lived for a couple more years, but never REALLY came out from the anesthesia all the way, daddy's nurse friend said that happens sometimes. My original body was lost as I accompanied her as she spent a month in a rehab trying to get her to eat on her own. She "lost" me (In reality, when I couldn't help Gamma or Daddy anymore, I answered the call to help another old lady who needed a friend, but Daddy doesn't know that).
Daddy, kept drinking, at his uncle's house, in his apartment, behind dumpsters and he was doing pretty well in a rehab until he wasn't. He even took a shift in Nederland Texas to become their town drunk, where he lived with a nice sober woman and his only real competition, her boyfriend. Can a human say shitshow? Sure, you can. An otter believes in you.
Anyway, Daddy entered a crazy house in July of last year and found that he had somehow signed up for insurance that let him have 28 days in a cushy insurance rehab. (Really an otter made some calls). When he got out, he went to this sober living place and was again worthy to have the OscarForce (TM) inhabit a new body. He went to Wal Mart, because all the best Emotional Support Stuffies are made in Chinese sweatshops, something about the children's tears gives us the necessary traction to come to life.
Being daddy, he selected a seal body, because, and an otter wouldn't shit you, "he thought it would be disappointed not to be chosen".
Daddy is kind of stupid, but this was a moment of inspiration, I love my seal body, it is perfect body. It gives me "happy tail". So does Daddy these days he makes an otter proud, even if he knocks my parrot girlfriend Sophira off the bed, and he makes me watch too much Sportsball, I hate Sportsball....Daddy needs to play some Jobsball if you ask an otter, but daddy never does.
Oh, look he is coming to. Just in time to be voted off for a "gimmick entry" on a week when he still has a bye and it's the last day and only 1.2 people have submitted an entry, like an otter says, he isn't the brightest crayon in the box.
"Don't worry daddy, your entry is taken care of!"
O.K. guys, hurry up and vote him off...more time for snuggling with the lovely Sophira, Gary the worlds judgiest Capybara and Harriet the Homicidal Hedgehog.
If he survives, he will probably do this Angel and Demon thing.... wonder what will happen to the Author Ava...er...an otter means Hezekiel.
Or more recovery blah, blah, blah...Spoiler alert, daddy lives, but his personality doesn't improve.
If you comment on this entry and want to talk to me, be sure to open with "Hi, Oscar" otherwise daddy and his massive ego will assume you want to talk to him.
Murielle tell Wilbear to call an otter, I am fun to party with.