LJ Idol Week 3- Tsundoku
Oct. 23rd, 2018 07:33 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fausts_dreamHi, my name is fausts_dream, you probably know me from such Sheep Porn classics as "I only have eyes for ewe" and "Ram Tough" but today I am here to offer you something available no where else. That is right, thanks to a special arrangement with Mephistopheles I am prepared to offer you, for your reading pleasure, books that don't exist. That is right, for the low, low price of your second born or a sexual favor of my choosing you can read books you have always wanted to, but couldn't....because they don't exist.
I know what you are going to ask....Do you have "The Winds of Winter" and "A Song of Spring". You betcha. See George R.R Martin may be stalling, but in an alternate dimension he is in hell. And lets just say our motivational tools are better. BUT THAT'S NOT ALL!
I also have "Desperate Days", a new Stephen King novel written like he wrote them when he was on the booze and the blow, and his editor wasn't scared shitless of him. That's right, it's crazy Steve on a 172 hour bender with an actual editor to tame his meaningless 40 page side tangents. BUT THAT'S NOT ALL!
I also have "Tweets that are Coherent and Make Good Sense" by Donald J. Trump. One read and you will feel relief that the US and the world are in good hands instead of the pulling-your-own-hair-out terror you feel right now.
In addition if you call my toll-free-number in the next thirty minutes you will get the Late Stieg Larrson's new Lisbeth Salander book, "The Girl Who Took Shit From Absolutely No One".
My offerings aren't limited to the printed page though. For just a few favors more you can get Silver Screen Gems.
Woody Allen movies you can watch guilt free because they come from a dimension where he isn't a sick pedobear. And the centerpiece of the collection. THE ORIGINAL STAR WARS TRILOGY created by Universe # 310'S George Lucas...WHO CAN ACTUALLY WRITE.
CALL NOW! This offer is good for a limited time! *
*Probably it's available forever since I am going to be suffering for all eternity...but they say the "limited time offer" thing is good for getting you to buy.
I know what you are going to ask....Do you have "The Winds of Winter" and "A Song of Spring". You betcha. See George R.R Martin may be stalling, but in an alternate dimension he is in hell. And lets just say our motivational tools are better. BUT THAT'S NOT ALL!
I also have "Desperate Days", a new Stephen King novel written like he wrote them when he was on the booze and the blow, and his editor wasn't scared shitless of him. That's right, it's crazy Steve on a 172 hour bender with an actual editor to tame his meaningless 40 page side tangents. BUT THAT'S NOT ALL!
I also have "Tweets that are Coherent and Make Good Sense" by Donald J. Trump. One read and you will feel relief that the US and the world are in good hands instead of the pulling-your-own-hair-out terror you feel right now.
In addition if you call my toll-free-number in the next thirty minutes you will get the Late Stieg Larrson's new Lisbeth Salander book, "The Girl Who Took Shit From Absolutely No One".
My offerings aren't limited to the printed page though. For just a few favors more you can get Silver Screen Gems.
Woody Allen movies you can watch guilt free because they come from a dimension where he isn't a sick pedobear. And the centerpiece of the collection. THE ORIGINAL STAR WARS TRILOGY created by Universe # 310'S George Lucas...WHO CAN ACTUALLY WRITE.
CALL NOW! This offer is good for a limited time! *
*Probably it's available forever since I am going to be suffering for all eternity...but they say the "limited time offer" thing is good for getting you to buy.
no subject
Date: 2018-10-26 04:12 pm (UTC)Well Done.